Presumably this problem is bothering you or has already troubled you. For most people, it seems difficult to forget someone. Even a bag of milk or a movie can easily evoke memories in your mind, reminding you of the person who has been close countless times.
It seems that no matter what, you can’t completely erase that person from your mind. This feeling is exhausting and makes people feel powerless.
Zhang Xiaoxian once asked a question: Why do you have to forget someone so painfully? In her view, when someone tells you not to think of a pink elephant, you immediately think of a pink elephant.
So, she believes that the harder you try to forget, the more you will never forget.
I am impressed. In fact, true forgetting does not require hard work. What I think of forgetting is not that you no longer have that person in your mind, but that when you drink another bag of milk and revisit the previous movie, you suddenly remember that the person you once loved loves this brand of milk more.
But even so, it is far from enough. There are countless people in the world who like to drink this brand of milk.
When you suddenly remember the original person, there is no longer a throb or feeling, you just forget.
So, forgetting is not that this person does not exist, but that even if he stands in front of you, it has nothing to do with you, and your heart can no longer make any waves.
Zhang Xiaoxian also said: There is always only one way to forget a relationship, and that is time and new love.
If neither time nor a new love is enough to make you forget someone in a short time, you can try another way: to sublimate your feelings.
What is emotional sublimation? First of all, we need to understand that after losing a relationship, some people will not eat or drink or even fall into depression. In this moment, we feel sad.
In fact, we are viscerally traumatized when our relationship with a loved one dies half way through, not meeting the desired period of time. In psychology, this situation is called “attachment impairment”.
When “attachment damage” affects you, your personality will undergo qualitative changes, and you will start to feel insecure, and even worry about gains and losses, so that you can’t find a new love, and you can’t re-enter a relationship.
So, when you are so sad that neither time nor new love can break into your world to heal your wounds, then we must work hard to feel the hurt and sublimate the “hurt” in the relationship.
In the face of the scars caused by “attachment injury”, we choose to face up to it, accept it, and thus obtain sublimation.
To understand, when we enter a relationship, we must tell ourselves that no matter how close you are, no matter how close your relationship is, even if you are married, this relationship will have a meaningful Youyouyou’s resource network will fall apart one day in the future.
It doesn’t mean that after confirming the relationship, you will be tied to a person and will be together forever.
Love is a double-edged sword. In love, anyone can be hurt, everyone can feel pain, just like you can feel happiness and joy.
Success is gratifying, but it is inevitable to break up halfway and get injured. When we feel the goodness brought by our relationship, it is easy for us to accept such a result.
So, when we are in pain, we don’t have to pretend to be smart and indifferent. What we need to do is accept and accept. Having a failed relationship is not a bad thing.
What we need to do is to reflect on ourselves and the other party through this relationship, pave the way for the next relationship, and find a partner who really fits.
Recognize the boundary of a relationship and let the other party become the past.
When we are faced with a relationship and a lover, the sense of boundaries between us is often blurred. Therefore, if you want the other party to become a thing of the past, you must distinguish from your heart that you and the other party have a sense of boundary.
For example, when you are in trouble, you have to understand that he is no longer your lover. Even if you can’t solve the immediate difficulties, even if no one tells you, you must strengthen yourself and face it bravely, instead of thinking about what it will be like if you don’t break up, whether there will be someone to rely on, and whether there will be someone to accompany you.
Now that you have left each other, you must understand that time will make everything that happens between you more and more blurred. So you need to constantly remind yourself of the pain this person is causing you in this relationship.
Magnify the damage the other party has done to your feelings, and maximize your beauty in this relationship with vulnerable friends and excellent resources. In this process, fully introspect and convince yourself that separation is not suitable. Since it doesn’t suit you, you won’t regret it.
It takes a lot less time for us to get out of a relationship than expected.
Believe it or not, in fact, when this relationship is really let go from your heart, you will suddenly realize that what you once thought you couldn’t let go can actually be let go.
The reason why I am obsessed with obsession and feel that I will never forget it for the rest of my life is actually because I was still obsessed with obsession and unwilling to face it.
When you can calmly face the failure of your relationship, face the departure of the other party, and rationally analyze the happiness and harm that the other party brings to you, you will understand your heart more and more, and know what you really need what a partner.
In the void of forgetting this relationship, learn to be alone. Find ways to live your life to the fullest, find ways to live a fulfilling life on your own.
In this world, we spend most of our time with ourselves. No one can accompany you 24 hours a day, and no one can accompany you for a lifetime. Being alone is our basic skill no matter what.
In addition, we must learn to self-regulate our emotions. Whether it’s the loss of a relationship, a job, or a loved one, mood swings are inevitable.
But we can’t be influenced by emotions. Emotions will make us lose our way and do things and actions that we can’t even imagine. Therefore, learning to regulate emotions is particularly important.
You can find a way to vent, adjust yourself when your mood fluctuates, and achieve the effect of diverting attention.
The loss of a relationship means that a new relationship is coming. In the inevitable emotional changes, saying goodbye to past relationships will always usher in new ones.
And we can also bid farewell to obsessions, reconcile with the past, and recognize our hearts in new relationships, so that it is easy to truly forget the person who was once unforgettable.