The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a major obstacle to marriage. When there is serious friction or discord between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, it will definitely jeopardize a marriage. When two people who have nothing to do with each other get along, it will naturally cause some friction in getting along. When frictions and conflicts accumulate over time, or the relationship between in-laws deteriorates, one of the main reasons is that there is a gap in expectations between the two parties. Here are 7 key points for mediating the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
1. Self-assessment, barely happy
In addition to economic factors, whether to live with parents after marriage In addition, you also need to carefully consider whether you have enough flexibility and coordination space. Is your personality suitable for living with the elders? But if it goes against your wishes, or you have already foreseen that there will be friction, it is recommended to make another plan .
2. Get straight to the point and clarify the scope of roles
The practice of courtesy first and then soldier is also a key point in dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Living habits, and even frankly explaining the difficulties you have encountered, can greatly reduce the chance of friction caused by misunderstanding. For example, who is responsible for cooking and cleaning? Do you have to wait until all meals are served? When do you work and rest? Etc.
3. There is a period of adaptation, and Rome was not built in a day
It is impossible for a person to adapt immediately after joining another family. The integration of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often requires an adaptation period. It is advisable to communicate more and be more tolerant. Don’t set too many rules first, and slowly adapt to each other’s lifestyles, habits and communication modes, and make appropriate adjustments.
4. Try to pull away and take a step back
When faced with some excessive behavior or inappropriate intervention by the mother-in-law, it is recommended to respond politely and decline. In addition, if you really can’t coordinate, you should also try to pull away, and understand from another perspective what drives them to make these inappropriate interventions and opinions? Is there some special reason behind it? If it’s just an isolated incident, polite response and decline will be fine. Yes; but if it happens frequently or becomes a habit, you have to take it seriously.
5. Don’t let your parents intervene and add fuel to the fire
Many new daughters-in-law will ask themselves when they feel wronged The parents of the parents confide that they intervene when they feel that they can’t see it, but these interventions, as well as the criticism of their spouse or the other’s family by both parents, often have a greater impact. It is recommended that the parents of both parties do not intervene too much and leave it to the couple to handle it themselves. In addition, when a conflict arises, it is also necessary to take care of the face of both parties. If you blindly report all the problems and quarrels to your parents, it will make the other party feel more embarrassed and difficult to step down.
6. Dating, tell your heart
Husband and wife should buy time to go out on dates and talk more, but not to discuss who is right and wrong, but to listen to each other’s current situation or difficulties, and let the husband listen to understand their own feelings. Having such sincere communication can let the couple know that they are with each other no matter what, which can strengthen the relationship and relieve feelings.
7. Communicate sincerely and do not lie to your husband
Although the role of the husband in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is important, sometimes this megaphone may not be reliable and effective, and it will worsen the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law! For example, when a wife discovers something that she feels is inappropriate, she often puts pressure on her husband to report it to her parents. But the husband will naturally avoid the important and ignore the important, or express it not according to the wife’s statement and method. After such a gap, the final expression and reception of opinions may not necessarily be as you wish.
However, when the wife needs to vent a little emotion and say something, but the husband tells the parents without filtering, it will naturally make the matter and the relationship worse. Therefore, it is suggested that unless it is some very toxic opinions, you might as well get used to communicating sincerely with your mother-in-law and develop a healthy and effective communication mode. The premise is to maintain respect and courtesy.