Most couples have this problem. The longer they are together, the less topics to talk about. I don’t know if you who are listening to the class feel the same way?
I saw such a clip on TV: After my wife came home from get off work, she went to the vegetable market to buy a lot of vegetables, and when she got home, she got into the kitchen and started to work. The husband is sitting on the sofa, drinking tea and reading the newspaper.
In the kitchen, the wife began to talk to her husband: Today’s eggplants are 20 cents cheaper, and the price of pork has risen again. The grandma who bought winter melons did not go to the stall today because her husband died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage.
After reading a bunch of things about the vegetable market, she started to talk about work again: Today the leader has a lipstick mark on his neck, and he probably went to steal fish last night. Colleague A is four months pregnant. She likes spicy food. She is probably a daughter. Colleague B’s son has passed the college entrance examination to Tsinghua University this year, and he is really promising…
The husband sitting on the sofa quietly read the newspaper and drank tea, and did not respond to his wife during the whole process, as if the other party was like air. It was not until the meal was served that they sat together and said something. Help me serve a meal and other polite words.
In fact, this clip is a microcosm of most couples. “Nothing to talk about” is the normal state of most people after entering marriage. The chat content is limited to life topics that have to be talked about, and the psychological distance between two people is getting farther and farther.
Many of my students have been hurt by “nothing to talk about”. Some quarrel with their husbands all day long, some get divorced, some husbands cheat, and so on.
In fact, even if you change a partner, you will still encounter the same problem after a long time.
Unless, you essentially know the reason behind this phenomenon and know how to solve it.
Going back to the TV clip above, why is the wife chattering and the husband silent?
The essential reason for this phenomenon is that he is not interested in your topic and does not know how to respond.
Men are not interested in the trivial life that women care about, and they have no interest in gossip in the workplace. Even if he is willing to respond to you, it is difficult to fully devote himself to talking to you. He didn’t know how to respond to topics that he wasn’t interested in.
As a result, the two people couldn’t get emotional resonance, and it slowly evolved into a picture where you talk about yours and he listens to his.
So, how can we kissAre there endless topics to talk about in a close relationship? This has to solve the problem fundamentally. Based on more than ten years of experience in the industry, the teacher has summarized three methods for everyone, and I hope it will be helpful to you.
The first way is to know the purpose of chatting with men and cultivate common interests
Girls who are listening to the class, think about why you want to chat with men? It is to convey that we love him, we cherish love very much, and we really want to be with him, and it is also to express anger, sadness, grievance, etc.
To sum up, it is to convey emotions.
Is it because the wife in the TV series babbles about the trivial matters and gossip in life and workplace because she is really interested in those contents? Actually not. Girls should be able to understand that she said those things because she wanted to pass on to her husband: I want to share my life with you because I love you.
However, everyone has overlooked a serious problem: what you want to give to others may not be what others want.
What is the purpose of a man chatting?
Four words: Express yourself.
The husband of one of my students is a photographer, and he is also a silent person in life. However, as soon as photography is mentioned, he seems to be a different person, and he can’t wait to talk about all his photographic works and techniques, which is called a passion.
The reason why he talks endlessly is to show others his arrogance and pride in photography. At this time, if his wife is willing to listen carefully and give approval, he will get a great sense of accomplishment and will be very happy to talk to you.
Here, I would like to share with you a small method to keep the husband and wife talking. Now that we know the purpose of a man’s chat, let’s start from a man’s point of view to find something that both parties like, and then do it together.
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