The Hangzhou Wife Killing Case, which has attracted much attention recently, once again refreshed the perception of netizens. After the husband killed his wife, he dismembered his wife’s body, flushed it into a septic tank from the sewer, and then went to the police station to report the case by himself.
How did the loving couple who got along day and night in the past become today’s wife-killing and resentful spouses? Why do marriages become tragedies and nightmares in the end?
When an intimate relationship passes through the sweet and romantic halo period and enters the so-called “disillusionment stage”, all problems explode together. Once the anger is not handled well, small problems may brew into big disasters.
My student Xiaoli almost made a big mistake.
Yesterday, he said to me angrily, “I can’t live this life! I really can’t live it! I can’t live it anymore! That bastard actually proposed a divorce to me!”
When a woman repeats a sentence three times, it proves that her anger has reached an uncontrollable peak.
I poured her a glass of warm water, patted her on the back, and then spoke slowly, asking her what happened.
Xiaoli said that she and her husband have been in a “bad” state for several months, and tried hard to solve it, but it was of no avail.
I guided her to talk about where the “bad” state manifested. She said, “We abuse each other every day, yelling and even fighting because of some trivial things. I care about his spending money, he complains that I don’t cook dinner; I blame his underwear for not being thrown in the washing machine, she complains.” I’m sleeping in the wrong position.”
I guided her to tell what efforts each other had made. She said, “I read a lot of communication books and tried to praise him; I also tried to write him a thank you letter. When we were about to quarrel again, I suppressed my anger and went out to calm down. But, These are useless.”
I asked her again, “What is it that makes you really unable to bear it this time, do you think you can’t live this life?”
She said, “We planned three months ago to hold a birthday party for our child next month. The restaurant was booked, and relatives notified him. He also applied for a holiday for the leader early. However, yesterday he actually told me that he He may not be able to ask for leave to come back, he may have to go on a business trip. I was angry when I heard it. As a father, the birthday party is such an important thing. If he doesn’t come back, what else will he do?significance? ”
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